Friday, May 22, 2009

'Demo'-crazzyyy

Everything was set for an interesting weekend because  one, Mumbai Indians had a do or die match to qualify for the semis which they miserably failed and, two, the election results of the biggest democracy was to be announced. I was up early as the vote counting process was going to begin at as early as 7 AM. The trend was being aired and every news channel was busy doing their own analysis showing how individual parties and coalations faired. UPA was leading as compared to NDA and the so called "Third front". One of my roomie, happened to wake up out of his long slumber and on seeing the analysis asked the bestest question, "Who the hell are UPA and NDA? where are Congress and BJP?".

By the end of day, 16th May 2009, the people of India had given a clear mandate to UPA. The right wing - NDA was left whining and the left wing - Third front was a disaster. UPA had claimed the centre. With absolutely zero knowledge in politics whatsoever I should be insane to even make an attempt to write this blogpost but I will continue. It has to be by far one of the satisfactory election result the citizens of India must have awaited.

BJP held on to its hardcore hindutva bandwagon and the Ram mandir issue. At the time when the global economy is in crisis and with unwanted instability in our neighbourhood perhaps BJP would have been better off to have given more space to progress and development in their propaganda. L K Advani's constant attacks on PM Manmohan Singh was always going to be futile as the latter's persona, without any doubt, demands more respect even from an apolitical person. BJP would have done themselves a great favour had they reprimanded Varun Gandhi for his anti-secular excursions and gained a bit of political mileage. And showcasing N. Modi as the future leader, even with commendable development work done by his government in Gujrat, would surely run some chill down the spine of minority communities for his alleged associations in post Godhra riots. BJP certainly lacked good national leaders, for once they might have surely missed the charm of Atal Bihari Vajpaye and shrewdness of Pramod Mahajan.

The Third front - CPI, CPM etc - right from its inception was dismissed by most veteran politicians and dreaded by industrialists.  Having done well in West Bengal and Kerala and largely dependent on regional politics, the Third front might have grown over confident for even thinking that they had an outside chance to form the government at centre. Even the investors were wary of left coming into power as they always have a tendency to oppose reforms and are anti-west which severely dents India's chances to progress when the world is looking more at globalization. The left parties parting ways with UPA can be considered as a blessing in disguise and augured well for industrialisation.

UPA's biggest gain was seen in the states of UP, Bihar, Maharashtra, West Bengal and RajasthanRahul Gandhi has done some phenomenal work in last couple of years  and it paid rich dividends specially in UP and Bihar where the Congress decided to go alone without any pre-poll alliances. Laloo-Paswan combo was dejected by Bihar and SP and BSP had similar fate in UP. Their alliance with Mamta's TMC's did wonders in the left dominated West Bengal. MNS played spoilsport for BJP-Sena alliance by eating into a huge chunk of votes which was only welcomed by congress and NCP. Another major set back for left was in Kerala where they had a strong support. Manmohan Singh being projected as UPA's PM candidate was well received by the people of India. The urban India sees a lot of potential and has faith in his governance and the rural India was only acknowledging the loan waivers for farmers, free electric supply for families below poverty line, NREGA etc. Though many would question their resolve in handling Pakistan post Mumbai attacks specially the urban denizens but rural India was going to be least bothered as roti, kapda and makaan remains to be their priority.

Perhaps the biggest setback of Indian politics lies in regional politics. It can do good in assembly polls but certainly plays spoilsport in Lok sabha elections. Indian electorate can do good for themselves if they think about India in Lok sabha elections and their respective states while voting in assembly polls.

Its just a 'demo' crazzyyy ... the real experiment has just begun.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

The Reel and Real 'Anand'

One fine day Kama dev, the God for sex or love, was out on his daily routine to strike his daily quota of human beings on his vehicle - the parrot. He carried a bow which was made of sugarcane and strung with a line of humming bees. Also accompanying him were his wife Rati, who symbolises passion, and his friend Vasanta(Spring) who selects for him the shaft to be used on the current victim. But to his dismay the weather god, whosoever he is, decided to play some pranks, in short do KLPD, with Kama dev. The weather god changed the weather where Kama dev had gone to hunt and filled the entire sky with dark clouds. Kama dev's visibility was reduced but he had a task of completing his daily quota of victims so that humans would engage into amorous acts. With deadline impending and weather showing no signs of improving Kama dev, anguished and irritated, decided to club his entire day's quota into one single arrow which he called - The Sexastra. Without paying any heed to what the consequence would be, he released this WMS(Weapon for Mass Seduction) into the darkness of the clouds. In short he was "challaying andere main teer". With bare minimum visibility he waited anxiously to see who the victim would be. As the arrow was 10 meters away from the victim, a familiar voice said, "Pushpa, don't cry re..." and the next moment the arrow pierced the heart of the victim, he continued, "lets do it tonight". The victim was Rajesh Khanna..our good old Kakaji. Dialogue-gone-wrong case but such was the lust embedded in the Sexastra.

If the above drama is hard to believe then I dont understand how, on this blue planet, would one of India's greatest cinema Superstar Rajesh Khanna decided to undergo such a metamorphosis to become a pornstar. Perhaps, he is really possessive about stardom. I can justify it to an extent. If you take the common thing out of Superstar and Pornstar, it would be STAR. Now you know why he has named his daughter as Twinkle. Twinkle twinkle little star my I will be the greatest pornstar... hasha husha hurrr... If you still don't have a clue about what I am getting to, see the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68fjIk8JXKE&feature=related. These clips are from the movie WAFAA.

The first film song that I liked, if I can reminisce properly, happens to be 'Chal chal chal mere haathi..oh mere saathi' which was pictured on Kakaji. The first movie I loved - and still adore till date - is Anand and ever since I have been one of his fans for the tremendous potential he had in acting and the simplicity and charm he brought on the silver screen to portray his characters. A little bit of research and you will not be surprised to know that he was one of the most celebrated film personality during his heydays. But he lost his charm and grace somewhere during the 1990s and ever since has been struggling.

When asked why he chose to work in the film with such high intensity steamy scenes he answered that the script demanded it and the movie will justify them. If you can remember he had earlier made a ‘come’ back with “Aao ..ab laut chale”  meaning – lets go back and come ..oops sorry… correction  – come lets go back: which was an average movie. Since then he has been trying to ‘come’ – back, I mean, with a lot of B - grade movies and finally managed to do a ‘Rajesh Khanna.. chussega kya ganna’ act with Pakistani actress Laila thus making WAFAA his magnum opus in B-grade category. Hope Kakaji gets his head back on his shoulders and not on other's shoulders :P  and sign roles which will do justice to his potential.

On the contrary, a few days back I happened to visit Panchagani on a leisure trip with my roomies and incidentally we bumped into the chocolate hero of the yesteryear's Mr Dev Anand of 'Kha pee ke hum anand...jhak maare Dev Anand' fame - just kidding :) He was busy shooting his movie with a new comer. When we reached the location he was flocked by people who wanted to have a photograph with him. Even we jumped in to be in the same frame as Dev Anand. In the flashback I remembered all the time when we ridiculed and mimicked him and Kakaji. It was great fun to be there as he acknowledged most of us with his 'photo nahi hai yeh mera dil hai.. dekho dekho toote na' cute smile and resumed his work.

It was commendable to see him being so involved and directing with ardor. Most of them were busy watching the heroine who was in bare minimum clothes, including us, but after a while his dedication and passion towards cinema was evident when the camera started rolling. Still remember the words he uttered, "You follow the camera and the camera follows you...its both ways". Agreed, he has been making flop films in recent years but it was simply amazing to see him work at his age, 80+ years. He had dressed like a young fashion conscious man with his famous cap on. His spirit and mind in tact and the bounce in his step pronounced, he signified the true meaning of a life spent on his terms and conditions.

As we were about to leave. I saw a couple, maybe in their 60's, making their way through the crowd. The moment the lady saw Dev Anand her eyes lit up. She grabbed held her husband's arm and murmured something in his ears with great joy. Maybe our generation doesn't understand what they meant but that couple seemed to connect with him better. The joy and smile on their faces said it all about the man - Dev Anand.


Saturday, December 27, 2008

India : Taken for granted

[Note: Long post]

It was the fifth ODI against England and I was anticipating a blistering knock from Sachin Tendulkar as he had failed in the earlier ODI. He had started well. I was following the match on internet as I was still in office. Sachin was in his 20's when I left office. By the time I came home, Sachin had scored his fifty and got out. Feeling disappointed, I continued watching the match hoping for some fireworks at the end by Dhoni and Raina, India was in the drivers seat already, but the match continued at snail's pace with India still needing another 50 odd runs. Feeling dizzy I decided to catch some sleep...... Reacting to flashes of light caused by constant fluttering of window curtains I opened my eyes and checked my mobile. It read 9:30AM, time for breakfast and newspaper. I was very eager to know how the match ended so I switched on the TV to surf some news channels but I never learnt the final score. All the news channels were beaming the same breaking news "Mumbai Under Attack". I quickly made phone calls to some of my relatives and friends to check their whereabouts and well being and to my relief no one was anywhere near the site of attack. I sat back and watched TV for almost 2 hours feeling helpless, anguished and agitated by the turn of events which unfolded. The world knows what happened next, three days of carnage. So many disturbing scenes of CST, Trident and the Taj. I associate a certain closeness with these places for the fact that I have lived in Mumbai for almost 3 years and have visited the vicinity of the sites under attack on several occasions with some wonderful memories to cherish. But the audacity of the attacks was something that shocked all of us, an inhuman act and a slap on humanity. 

The entire country was in a state of distress, suddenly the Malegoan probe and the controversy surrounding it, the general elections, England's tour of India and other top stories had taken a back seat. For the first time fear had gripped an entire nation to a point where every common man felt unsecured. 'If a place like Taj is not safe then what else is?' is what most people questioned. Several blasts had taken place in the last ten months but this attack was unparalleled. At the end of three days nearly 170 were declared dead and 300 odd injured. All innocent, mind you.

A public outcry followed resulting in sacking of a few ministers and mere words of assurance from the government with opposition parties trying to make the most out of situation in hand for petty vote bank politics. Several peace rallies and demonstrations were seen in different cities across the country. Media was busy covering the event with every news channel having different perspective to share. The government of India was busy trying to pacify the public anger and rope in as much international support to nail Pakistan as inceptive investigation showed involvement of ISI and other militant groups based out of Pakistan.

India's Homework :
Ok. So the public was angry. Some lighted candles to offer condolences for the deceased, others participated in peace rallies, some expressed anger in media and print, some lashed out at politicians and there were others, most of them, who were oblivion about the whole incident. Now the million dollar question. Who is to be blamed? Answer: EVERYONE. 

Most people took a dig at politicians blaming them for bringing the country to the state which it is in. Agreed, but are they the only people to be blamed, criticised and loathed? If they are corrupt we, as citizens, have made sure that it has spread to the very root of our society. I still drive my two wheeler without a license, there are plenty who take pleasure in jumping traffic signals, most of us give bribes to get work done faster, how many of us have a voters ID? How many of us who do have one ever use it for voting? I bet most of us dont. Why care about voting, when we feel that its best usage is as a national ID. But we still curse and condemn politicians for everything uncivilised around us. If they are responsible for wrong practises then we have been the most effective medium who have helped them propagate to all corners of the country. No one cares a damn about law and order. And rules can be bent and compromised according to our whims and fancies.  

Even as the operations at Taj and Trident were underway, a TV show was being aired hosted by Barkha Dutt with some film personalities and Mumbaikars on the obvious topic of Mumbai attacks. I found it strange that the common consensus among the agitated crowd was on compulsory military training for youngsters and refusal to pay taxes. In a land with umpteen diversities where people are fighting for reasons varying from language to land, I find it difficult to understand how we will cope up with the violence from trained civilians? Who will assure that trained population will not use the combating skills acquired to support vested interests? We have a good enough army to defend our country against any foreign dominance. Let the Indian Army do its job. Civilians dont need to know combating skills to protect the country. They can help this cause by simply being responsible and alert. Now, coming to the question of not paying taxes. How will any ruling administration work if there is financial non - cooperation? Its only going to jeopardize the functioning of the already spineless administration. Instead, citizens can monitor and ask for accountability from the current government. Mere paying of taxes is not the only duty we can do towards our nation. Consider an example of we buying a house. Do we become carefree once we make a payment for the house/flat? No. We are keen on knowing how its shaping up. We keep a check and monitor its progress, don't we? India today is a growing economy where every individual, at least those who are considered "learned" , should chip in with their contributions. If we are reluctant to contribute, we can abide by the laws, to do the least. Stop giving bribes, not indulging in malpractices, are a few examples that each one of us can surely do.

Media Responsibility:
In recent years the news channels have grown in numbers, if I may ridicule, considering the gravity of the situation, the number must be more than the underwears I have purchased after starting my career. For 59 hours continuously all the news channels aired live footages of sites under attack, debates, expert comments and what not. Each of them fighting to get their TRPs(Television Rating Point - The rating of a show represents the percentage of households tuned to a particular television show as compared to the number of television sets in particular geographical location) up. 

Some of the terrorists had called up a news channel and their conversation with a media person was being beamed on national television. The terrorists seemed to be clueless about their demands but constantly gave reasons why they have enrolled themselves for such Jihadi causes. Such conversations may help the handlers of such attacks indoctrinate more youth into joining Jihad by giving them the examples of these 10 terrorists and the sacrifice they have done in the name of Islam. And even if the militants would have stated their demands, common man and media could have done little to fulfill them. Such calls should have been directed to government officials who could have got an expert to talk with them. I think it was India TV which managed to talk with hostages inside one of hotels and managed to get the floor and room number of the hostages. The next thing they did was flash this vital piece of information on national TV!!!
I mean I fail to understand how did it not cross any of the media personnels' minds that even the terrorists would have been listening to all this. Next, all the news channels were continuously beaming pictures of the operation going on at Nariman house robbing the NSG commandos of their element of surprise. How can they pounce on every hostage rescued and ask for their reaction after the terrible experience they have gone through? How low can they stoop? Perhaps, there is no answer to it.

Thankfully, a PIL was filed in Mumbai court to ban media from showing such news live which would compromise the operation underway. The media will have to learn to be more sensible. The job of the media is to report the news not to sell it. Unfortunately they are busy selling it.

India, Pak and US:
Ever since 26/11, the Government of India has been busy asking for support from International community to pressurise Pakistan to eradicate terror camps on its soil and Pakistan has been in denial mode rebuffing any claims made by India. The United States of America has been playing significant role in easing off the tension between the two nuclear armed nations. But is this going to help India in anyway is the big question that one needs to ask.

Consider the situation the Mumbai attackers have created. First, the Indian government faces an internal political crisis driving it toward a confrontation, with public and opposite political parties, it didn't plan on. Second, the minimum Pakistani response to a renewed Indo-Pakistani crisis will be withdrawing forces from western Pakistan, thereby strengthening the Taliban and securing Al Qaeda. Third, sufficient pressure on Pakistan's civilian government could cause it to collapse. Finally, the United States' situation in Afghanistan has now become enormously more complex. Even though the US has been supporting India, the moment there will be conflict of interests between the two nations, clearly, the US will try to dominate as it has too much stake in Pakistan which it cannot ignore. 

Even with the incoming President Barack Obama, whose foreign policies are ridiculed to be meek, things show no sign of improving. Obama, through his interviews before and after being chosen as President elect, has constantly hinted that he is a pro Pakistan man and plans to send a special envoy to solve the Kashmir issue. Clearly, this move of sending a special envoy will ask India to give concessions on Kashmire theryby helping Pakistan release its tension along the Indian border and concentrate on its western border aiding the US on its mission Afghanistan. Only thing that consoles India is the fact that Obama in one of his interviews has commented that he would like to attach some strings with the financial aid that the US has been giving to Pakistan. But in any case the US is mostly looking after its interests in the region. 

As seen in last two months its just the blame game that is going on with no substantial progress.
Even after sharing the investigation details, which has been approved by FBI, the Pakis still have credibility issues. As far as I can see there can be three logical conclusions. One, the International community pressurizes Pakistan to clean up the scum on its soil, which is not likely to happen. Second, India going for a full fledged war with Pakistan. Enough we have taken their shit. Given the fact that we spend so much on our defence apparatus, if its not able to safeguard us then there is no point in having it. Time and again they have infiltrated into our soil and taken innocent lives, so far nothing satisfying has been done to avoid such incidents. But even second possibility is not likely to happen and that leaves us with the third option, to sit back and take things lying down as they are. After all, we are a selfish and forgettable nation.

Conclusion:
Even in such times people were seen ridiculing and joking without understanding the gravity of the situation. The rural India is not going to be affected much and given the condition they are in, they will not be able to contribute more. It is the educated India that will have to take the mantle ahead. Mumbai exhibited an unprecedented show of solidarity but only a few other like Bangalore, Delhi, Hyderabad, Kolkata etc. followed. Why did not the others follow? Why did not the whole of India stand together? When India won the T20 World championship the entire country was on streets to celebrate and drunken revelry followed, why cannot everybody stand united during such an hour of crisis? We always take pride in saying 'Proud to be an Indian' when India does well in sports, when some Indian achieves the impossible without us doing anything whatsoever. Perhaps, the receptionist who picked up the phone at Taj at 2 AM on 27th Nov '08 and said 'The Taj Mahal hotel. Good morning, What can I do for you? , the firemen, the defence personnel, the railway announcer at CST and many more like them 'only' have the right to say 'Proud to be an Indian'. Its not that we don't love India, the feeling of patriotism is there within most of us, it just needs to be tapped and channelised into something more actionable.

Often, since 26/11, I kept contemplating on how the hell would have Mahatma Gandhi mobilised the entire country to unite together in the fight for independence. He was a man who fought without fighting and won us the independence. In today's generation his methods might not work but  probably we need a leader like him to unite our country. Even he hasn't been spared, was he? Today's generation calls him 'Taklu'. Pity us. We are not even qualified to talk about such dignified souls.

Remembered the last scene of the film 'Lage Raho Munna bhai' where a frustrated Sanju baba says to Arshad Warsi, 'Acha hua Circuit bapu aaj idhar nahi hai.. warna inh dare hue logoan ke chehre dekh ke bahut rota woh'. How true in the current context. 

If not taken care of now... Dark days lie ahead.

Acknowledgement: A million thanks to my friend Vinay Dhareshwar for his inputs and review on my fantabulous Angrezi.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Pre - Nuptial Drama

Ahhh !!! I got a job offer. I will soon be employed. 15k plus gross salary for a month is a pretty good way to start for a FRESHER, Gosh I was sick and tired of this tag. Sigh of relief !!! Thats how I had felt after getting a job offer from Tata Consultancy Services Ltd. after a failed attempt of having a go at GRE. Did I just say 'FAILED', actually there is nothing called as PASS or FAIL in GRE. I thought I didn't score enough to get substantial financial assistance. Ah, forget it. It's debatable. I am sure most IT professionals might have felt the same after getting their first offer letter. You feel on top of the world. Cloud number 9 !!! So many things to do, so many stuff to buy, so many places to go, so much money to make blah blah blah..... Feel so independent.

An year passes by and what have I saved? GHANTA ! Ya thats the word. And what have I earned? Habits ! Habit of watching movies in plush multiplexes of Mumbai, habit of eating out in costly restaurants, habit of buying branded clothes and what not. But then what do we earn for?  Pay hike, Hurray !!! 'I am gonna save some this year' I had said to myself. Since then I have made millions :) I am not good at keeping promises, specially the ones I make to myself. But then amidst all this there are murmurs, strange voices, questions, expectations etc. 'Beta, when do you intend to get married?' I am sure all of you might have experienced this. First thought that hit me was "Nanga nahayega kya aur nichodega kya?".

In the beginning you just evade such questions, you pay little attention but soon once you cross the 25 year barrier they are all over you. 'I mean you are settled now, so whats the problem?', Settled? Ahem, Ahem. Dunno when thats gonna happen? Will someone tell me what that means? Does being settled a criterion for marriage? In that case I guess I will stay single all my life. These things seem hard to understand when you see them unfolding in front of you. I guess thats what they call generation gap.

According to folks marriage is the panacea for all your problems. Don't ever fall ill, don't even dare to. "See I had told you. All these things are happening because of you eating outside. Once a woman comes in your life everything is gonna be fine". It makes me think if this is the first time I have ever fallen sick? or will it be the last time I will ever fall sick after getting married? Maybe they are right I might just cease to exist :) Kidding !!! Family functions are potential hunting grounds to find a match. Your folks, your cousins act as if they are on a search mission but the problem is neither do they nor do you know what you are looking for. It becomes difficult to duck such questions when elders from family start shooting at you. I wonder what new reason I can give to change the topic of conversation. But they just come at you harder and harder that it becomes increasingly difficult to escape from such an awkward situation. This is the classic example, advise, scenario... whatever I have most often got from the experienced lot. It goes like this, "You are 25 now if you get married then you will have a kid by say 28 then by the time you are 50 your kid will be out of college and earning. If you delay it now then you better think of the situation you will be in your fifties". You know what guys I sometimes get convinced when they give me this lecture. Its true but it just doesn't fit into my scheme of things at this moment. Ah how can I forgot the emotional blackmail by the good old sweet grandmas and grandpas in the family. And when your friends start getting engaged, hooked then the pressure just starts mounting again. 

So what is it that decides when to get married? Is it the age? or is it your financial stability? your physical well being? your maturity level? Its hard to arrive at a conclusion. We ponder on this topic, we debate but everyone has different views to present but nothing seems convincing. I guess everybody has their own set of ideas, problems, ambitions to take care of before they decide to tie the knot. For some believe in the institution of marriage and there are others who think of it as a social obligation. For the moment the best time to get hitched is when the global economic crisis ends. Naa.. think again you might have to wait longer. Ohh... it all sounds so confusing :)

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Life main bahoot kuch pehli time hota hai mamu....

Hi,

Below is something which I had written long time back. Hope you enjoy reading it.

This is Ajay Hosur and I am writing this mail in full hosho hawas ( or hawaass it is ? ) And I am not tight.
Main Geeta, Bible aur Quran ki kasam khake bolta hoon ki main jo kuch bhi bol(likh) raha hoon sach bol(likh) raha hoon.

Scene : Sunday, 26th November 2006, 18:26 Hrs

I was alone at home, as Alok was in Belgaum and Yashwant had gone to Office, watching one of the bestest fightbacks by Team India, some might disagree.
To my disbelief M. S. Dhoni got out but I still had hopes as Pathan, Zaheer, Kumble, Agarkar were due next. But destiny had other plans and we lost.
I remembered that I had promised myself not to watch Indian criket match after the Durban defeat. But can't help it yaar, typical Indian mentality.

Probably most Indians swear not to watch Indian cricket match after defeat, but I am sure most televisions will be switched on ESPNSTAR when India play their next encounter with South Africa. But I am happy atleast we Indians are OPTIMISTICs, aren't we?

Time : 19:30 Hrs

My cell rang and before I could pick it up the opposite party had already hanged up. A MISSED CALL !!!
Mob No : +91 99034 XXXXX 
I called back, it was disconnected. 
I called again, disconnected !!! 

I got a feeling that someone is playing pranks with me. I typed in 99 on my mobile and a set of numbers came up, most of them from Karnataka.
I thought some friend is trying to pull my legs. I thought it was Alok. I started surfing channels for some good songs.....
It rang again....a missed call again!!! I didn't bother to call back. 

5 mins later, I received a friendship message. I called back again only to get a negative result again. 
5 mins later, I received a message again. I replied to message asking who it was?
I got a reply 'Recognise me'.

Chain of messages,

Me: 'Shahrukh Khan? Amitabh Bachan, or for a change Madhuri Dixit ?'.
Opp. party : 'Wrong, Wanna be my friend?'. 

Me: 'Hey, have we met before ? May I know this friends name?'
Opp. party : 'Its Nisha. We have never met before and will never meet, but I just want to be friends with you'.

Chaila main bola LADKI aur apun se friendship, apun ki dil main khalbali mach gayi. But I knew someone was kidding.
As I was imagining another friendship message came in.

Me: 'Nice to meet you Nisha. From where did you get my number? Where are u from? I know that you are a male and trying to fool me'.
Opp. party : 'Dear, will you be my friend? I am a girl and you are a boy. I am being honest. I am not fooling you. I am a good human being. REPLY'.

Me: 'Ok then why are u not picking up my call. Kaun hai be tu mamu samjya kya mereko?'. 
Thought of giving some bad words, lekin agar ladki rahi to, Rehne de basanthi bola. Pressed 'Send'.

I tried calling again, for a change it was busy this time. I disconnected it and before I could close the flap of my phone, what else?, the display showed
"+9199034XXXXX calling".

I picked it up in style and said "Kaun hai be tu? " and started laughing.

A sweet voice said " Excuse me, its Nisha here". 
chaila meri to phat gayi.... LADKI??? full pungi tight. Kya karoon kya naa karoon kuch samajh main nahi aa raha. 

It took around 10 sec to realise what was happening?

Telephonic conversation:
Nisha : 'Hello you there?"
Me: " Yes, is this some kind of a prank? " full english marya main bhi.

Nisha: 'Nope, do u know Hindi?".
Me: 'Ji, haan, Aap ke saath koi hai kya? Aap majaak kar rahe ho kya? Yeh koi Karnataka ka number hai kya?'. Too many questions to ask but 
          I didnt know what to do or speak. Mera presence of mind aur himath ( bahoot kum hai ) sab tel lene gaya tha.

Nisha: 'Nahi main majaak nahi kar rahi hoon aur nahi koi mere saath hai. This number is from West Bengal. Aapka pura naam kya hai?'. Waah 
            Quite a familiar place, chaila city ka naam to bolti. Aise bol rahi hai jaise baggal ke kholi main rehti hai.

Me; 'Ajay Hosur'.
Nisha: 'Excuse me but I didnt get your second name?'.

Me: 'Hosur, Ajay Hosur'. Full James Bond style main bolya. The name is Bond, James Bond.
Nisha: 'Kuch ajeeb sa sirname hai aapka'. Chaila I didnt understand what to do or say? Is maine mera kya kasoor?

Me: 'Ji woh ek jagaah ka naam hai. aap kabhi Blore gayi ho to shayad suna hoga. my ancestors were from that place'.
       bhendi kya bola mereko hi samaj main nahi aaya. Actually Hosur is a place near Hubli, lekin mere dimaag main Blore ka Hosur road flash hua.
       Rehne de Basanthi.
Nisha: 'Ok Ok. aapko bura to nahi laga ki maine aapko pareshaan kiya?'. Ye le... chaila mere mann main ladoo phoot rahe the aur ye ladki bura maneki 
               baat kar rahi hai. Apun ka dil garden garden ho raha tha, full Gulshan Grover istyle.

Me: 'Nishaji, aapko mera number kahan se mila?'.  Full formal hone ki koshish..........
Nisha: 'Are Ajay aap ye ji ji kyon laga rahe ho..pls don't be formal. Number aise hi mil gaya'. ise kehte hai sone pe suhaga Angreji main Icing on the Cake. 
             Abhi aage kya bolneka apunko samaj main nahi aa raha....
Me : 'What do u mean aise hi mil gaya? kisi paper main chapa tha kya?'. full cut joke mara...hahahaha...kya karein aadat se majboor.
         bhendi she didnt get the joke aur boli what? baad main samjha usko ..hasi !!! hasi to phasi....

Nisha: 'Aap ke barein main batao? agar aap bura na mane to?'. Are my life is an open book...kya bataoon kuch samaja nahi socha main bhi thoda game 
                 khelta hoon.
Me: 'I live in Mumbai, I am married'.  She broke my sentence 'Jhoot mat bolo. I know u are single, stay in Mumbai, u are originally from Belgaum, Karnataka,                                      and  work with TCS'. Ayela apun to India main world phamous.................. 

Nisha: 'Be honest with you friend. Jhoot mat bolo'.

Baad main bahoot sari batein hui..
Maine himmat karke poocha 'Do u have a boyfriend?'

Nisha: 'Yes, He is in Blore'.               Ghanta phir mere saath kaiko khilwaad kar rahi hai?
Me: 'Usko bura nahi lagega ki tum aise ek ajnabi se itni der se baat kar rahi ho'.

Nisha: 'hum dono main bahoot achi understanding hain'...dosti aur pyaar ke funde marne lagi
Me: 'Good. Hum duwa karenge ki apki yeh understanding barkarar rahe'.     kaika good phir mere dil ko kyon thes pahooncha rahi hai?

She told me that she is a CA, from Rajasthan, is a Marwadi, working in Kolkata about her work etc etc...
 Baad main tata bye bye bolke phone rakha.... 

Chaila, chalo zindagi main kuch to adventure hua.. lekin as usual mera match bhi India ki tarah shurawaat to badiya raha lekin end wahi saala.

Lekin tabhi news main khabar aaya ki Shahrukh is replacing Amitabh in KBC. Then it suddenly struck me.

"Agar ladki ka koi BF nahi to usko pataya to kya pataya...."
 
Hai ki nahi dostaon...lagta hai maine tum ko bahoot pakaya...  pls maaf karo :)



Monday, November 17, 2008

India's meeting with Chanda Mama !!!

Hurray !!!  Finally, We have made it to the Moon. Only the fourth nation in the world to have successfully landed a probe on moon, earth's only natural satellite,  after former USSR, US and China. Remember guys Chandrayaan- I has not landed on moon, its only the MIP ( Moon Impact Probe ) that has landed on moon with Indian tricolor painted on it. Moment of glory and achievement, something for all Indians to be proud of and cherish.



The idea of Chandrayaan I, perhaps not named as Chandrayaan then, was first discussed in 1999 and passed in the cabinet in the year 2003. It took five years for the scientists at ISRO to complete the mission successfully. The total cost of Chandrayaan I is estimated to be worth Rs 350 cr. Believe me guys these are staggering numbers. I read in an article that the cost associated with this mission is phenomenally low as compared to other moon missions. And to successfully land a probe on moon in five years time is no mean achievement. Mind you, till date only six attempts have been made by nations to embark on moon mission but Japan and European Space Agency did not place any object on moon. 

A lot of debate has been going off late questioning the very purpose of Chandrayaan I. Was it feasible for a growing economy like India to have a go at something that has been previously achieved by three other nations? Don't we have enough problems back on earth, India, which we need to address? Wouldn't it have been wise if the government had decided to spend a whopping Rs 350 cr on rural development, better road connectivity, better education? I read some interesting comments as a response to the first pictures of moon taken by the MIP during its descent on the lunar surface. Some even accused to the point that ISRO had brought the pictures from US or China and are selling the news that MIP managed to capure them and accused the government to pay some heed to the basic problems faced by India like poverty, rural education etc. I mean are these guys anywhere near to being serious? I leave it for your imagination.  

Just to clear the air, there are different departments or government bodies to take care of different arenas like Agriculture, Sports, Arts, Engineering etc in order to facilitate the holistic development of a country. Just because government decides to budget Rs 350 cr to moon mission doesn't allow other departments to hold science hostage. For Indian railways Rs 350 cr is nothing but just 1.75% of its annual profit, if my sources are to be believed. Some also questioned of the possible scientific benefits that the scientists and a common man of India would reap. Well, India has 11 communication satellites in orbit which facilitate mobile communication, weather forecasting, bringing education and health care to remote villages in India via Tele-links from schools and hospitals in cities. One never questions these things because they justify some usage to the common man. Who knows what these mission explorations could lead to in coming years. I don't know how far this is true but some scientists have gone on the record, from both India and China, to say that moon might contain enough Helium 3, a key fuel for nuclear fusion. It is believed that moon might contain up to 5m tonnes of Helium 3 against 15 tonnes on earth enough to produce energy for 8000 years. Each year three space shuttle mission to moon and it would eventually solve the energy problem all across the globe. But it is easier said than done. Bringing anything from that far in space would take some scientific doing. How and when ? we might not live that long. But with science, one never knows !!!

Another allegation was what are we doing different from others? Could we just not have collected the information from other nations who were successful? Well, here is the answer. Chandrayaan I will orbit the moon for 2 years and map a high resolution three dimensional atlas of the rear and far end of the moon. In layman's term, Chandrayaan I will be the only mission to have completely scanned the lunar surface for mineral wealth. Other nations namely US, Japan, Bulgaria, Germany and Sweden also have their Hi Tech probes mounted on Chandrayaan I, the technical details of which I am unaware of. 

If India would have directly embarked on a Mars mission and failed,  people would have asked wouldn't it have been more sensible if India had first attempted something near like moon before embracing other celestial bodies? Ahhh, critics they never retire, do they? Kudos to the scientists who were involved in such a prestigious mission and have put India on the global map of handful of nations to have had a chance to date the MOON.

Attention World, here comes India ! She is roaring to be recognised. Recently after a humiliating defeat to India on its home soil, the Australian veteran batsman Mathew Hayden gave the reason as "the frustrations associated with a third world nation" for slow over rate of Australian bowlers. Such a shame that he still relies on a third world nation to earn a hefty amount. Somewhere it was correctly mentioned that even the sticker on Sachin Tendulkar's bat is worth more than Matty's house :)

Well, how is the success of Chandrayaan I for an answer to being alleged as a third world nation.